I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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