I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
