it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
How's work?
Spinning.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize