so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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