The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i out mim tonsoeep
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