I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
