just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
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Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
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I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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