she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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