Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
