My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
