Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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