this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
