dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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