Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
