Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
