Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
nutella sex= disaster
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
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He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
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I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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