White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
