She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
