just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
3 2 1 whiskey
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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