i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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