Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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