I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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