your parents love me but you hate me
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I cockslap morals
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
