Having a random hookup so left but love u
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.