Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.