there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
