dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize