Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the condom got lost in my hair
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
