Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
This is the high leading the old right now
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I wear drunk well.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize