I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
