Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what day is it and did you see me today?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
