Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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