I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
