She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
