lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize