he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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