so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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