I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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