dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
