Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
