i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i think i have two assholes
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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