I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize