In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
