im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
