Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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