You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
