She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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