Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
