have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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