He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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