im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
