no. you can't hotbox the world.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
