so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think a kid would responsible me up
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
