My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
