A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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