We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize