real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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