but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
zippers are such a cool invention
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
