I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize