My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
