i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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