Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
