Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize