Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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