3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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