Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
