Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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